My (hopefully humorous) take on what marriage is like at my school.
Affection spreads at the rate of zombie viruses in movies at BYU. In class, chances are someone within arm’s length has a wedding band on. Keep in mind, this is only the married students I’m talking about here. Add in the engaged and the seriously dating and it skyrockets to epidemic levels of infection. Over twenty thousand lost souls: the size of a small city.
The symptoms include cuddling in open spaces, blushing, random grinning for no apparent reason, constant talking about a member of the opposite sex, filled in weekends, bags under the eyes from texting to two in the morning, and the list continues. If exhibiting more than one of these, don’t panic. Endure the incubation period with a brave face. Just try to remain quarantined so as not to infect others.
Winter is the safest time of year. The love zombies are generally kept indoors and the unpredictable weather makes it more difficult for them to plan outings to entrap the rest of us with ‘group dates’ and saved seats at firesides. Do not be fooled. Their only goal is to make everyone else like them until the entire campus is filled to the brim. Spring is the worst, even the plants pair off. Avoid it if possible. If unavoidable… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry but you might as well give in. It’ll be easier that way.